Sunday, January 01, 2006
1. I'm going to be a quiet person - By being quiet I think I can accomplish many things. Like preventing from falling in love with a girl. Or saying the wrong things and stuff like that. Heh. Being in love hurts. Especially when the girl doesn't know it or just chooses to ignore my feelings. Or she may be playing hard to get? I don't know. But one thing that I am sure is that I am so deeply in love with her.
2. I'm going to earn my own money.
3. I will be a nicer person.
4. I will to lose my mass - My target is 70Kg. Currently: 85kg.
5. I will still keep my no drinking and no smoking attitude.
6. I will further my guitar playing skills, at least to be recognised in Brunei as on of the best.
That is all of it I guess. =D
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Talk about being in love. I have never, EVER felt this way for a girl. I think about her constantly. My body just aches to be close to her, to make her feel secure and safe. Everytime before I go to sleep I think about her. At times when I can't bear her absence I cried. At the hotel in the morning today I sat down at the verandah and just wandered into space, thinking about her for hours. Her smile. Her cute expressions. The way she teases me. The way she calls my name. The way she talks. The things that we have in common. Her uniquely divine qualities. I miss her so much right now that it just hurts real bad.
You might say, 'dude! just tell her!'. But the thing is, I found out lots of things that narrowed down the possibilities of her liking me back. First, she always goes out with this school friend of hers. One day I saw a picture that made me jealous like hell that I kept quiet the rest of the day which made her worry so much but I told her that I was alright. She has many guy friends that she's so close with that I am sure that any one of them could be her boyfriend. Or soulmate. Because some of them, she has known for so long and they are still that close with each other. I'm not psychic, yes. But I just don't know what to do.
There are only two people to my knowledge who knows who she is. I told one of them and the other could just see through me (amazing dude, really). And I am keeping it that way. I shall see if my feelings for her would fade away, which will prove that I was only infatuating (but I've known her since early this year. word). Help, por favor.
capek stepped on your garbage at